As you observe people day to day, you may have noticed that some people have a more positive approach to life than others. And this positive outlook helps them deal with all the challenges that life throws their way. We may call these people optimists and refer to their ability to bounce back as resilience. Not that you have to be an optimist to be resilient, but it doesn’t hurt!

What is Resilience?

Resilience refers to the ability to manage stress, adversity or trauma. It is the ability to bounce back more quickly and in healthier ways after difficult situations such as relationship problems, losing a job or any number of other life stressors.

Recent research has shown that resilience is a quality that can be learned. It involves how we think and behave, and it takes practice. One way that we can become more resilient is by taking charge of how we react or respond to life’s events. It’s something we can control—not something that controls us.

Being resilient doesn’t mean that you aren’t affected by life’s ups and downs. People with resilience take the time to grieve a loss or major life change in a way that acknowledges their emotions and helps them develop coping skills to deal with challenges. When confronted with a similar challenge later in life, they can then draw on their coping skills and emotional resources.

Characteristics of a resilient person

A resilient person typically is able to resist stress and weather bad times well. They generally have many of these characteristics:

• A network of supportive people
• A sense of confidence in their own abilities
• Good communication skills
• Good problem-solving skills
• Techniques for managing feelings and impulses
• The ability to use coping skills gained from prior life experiences

Ways to develop resilience

Not feeling too resilient? There are many steps you can take to develop resilience.

• Make health a priority. When you eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly and get plenty of sleep, you’re better able to meet life’s challenges.
• Lean on others. Get support from family and friends in both good and bad times. Socializing with others is important. Some people find that a faith community, volunteer group or other organized community can be helpful for building a support network.
• Look to the future. Keep the current setback in perspective and try to see the bigger picture. Set goals and work to meet them to help gain a sense of accomplishment. Be proactive about anticipated changes and make a plan to get through them, focusing on the things that you have the power to control.
• Learn from mistakes and successes. Think about how you’ve handled adversity in the past and learn from what worked and what didn’t. What triggers negative emotions? Can coping skills help before problems start to feel overwhelming?
• Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. Resilience isn’t about bottling up emotions or denying painful feelings. It’s okay to take some time to grieve losses and you should never feel guilty about having emotions. Acknowledging these feelings is a healthy way to deal with life.
• Accept change. Change is part of life. When things feel out of control, focus on making realistic changes. If you are having trouble, use your support system—friends and family can offer help with suggestions for making changes.
• Learn to trust. Develop confidence solving problems and making positive changes overall.

Overcoming significant stresses and adversity isn’t easy. Consider seeing a licensed counselor or accessing your Transocean Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to get support and help you build your resilience. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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